Breathe

Well, yeah.

I really hate starting to write sometimes. I figure if I started with something like that it can only get better, right?

It has been an interesting week. Still no sign of missing goats. I have to kind of laugh about this, are we destined to have at least one missing animal at all times? I hope to hell not. We have looked, we have called. In fact, after some good advice we called all the sale barns in the area. Hoping to give them our information in case seven angora goats show up. They all but hung up on us, all of them. Seriously, no help there. It kind of pisses me off but oh well. Life goes on and it sure does. We have named our expensive angora Rapunzel. That is original, right? I thought so 🙂 From everything I can tell she is not pregnant. Also, she is either extremely bored in quarantine or she is in heat. She keeps making noise to the other goats and trying her hardest to get out. I have been contemplating getting some goat semen. We will wait a little bit. If she calms down I would say that was heat, if she doesn’t calm down she is just one freaky goat. Seeing as all the goats ran over a mile when they first got here I would say we have a fifty fifty chance of freaky goat. Oh, we did get one call about the goats. I swear some people are really special. I say that in a not so nice way. This lady called us up and asked if we had found our goats. Getting all excited, we said no. I mean, why would you call someone who was missing goats unless you knew something, right? Turns out she was wanting to buy them! Seriously. People. Uggg.

We have had some of our coldest weather of the season so far. We saw the negative side of zero. That was real temperature also. When you add in the windchill it was fricken cold. Everyone did alright though. Natalie got a sweet picture of everyone huddled together. We got more snow again. This winter is very different from last. I can hope that all this precipitation does something for our dry ground. I am also hoping for a slightly wetter summer this year. It is crazy how much we depend on the weather now.

The preggie goats are doing well. Looking more and more pregnant. Oh it is enough to drive you insane, in a good way at least. Luna, the goat who we all thought was pregnant for most of the summer? And it was a false pregnancy? Well, she is looking pregnant. And we saw her be serviced by Billy. So maybe. She is looking huge. I just have to wonder if she keeps faking it so she can eat more and get fat. Because really, if she isn’t pregnant the amount of weight on her isn’t good. We will need to do something. Megan we still think will be the first to give birth. All eyes are on her. The girls check her every morning and night. We will see and you all will be first to know 🙂

We also have big news on the farm. You all know Jack took a second job as a project manager? Well, a few things happened. They kind of happened at the same time or at least the realization happened at the same time. First when the goats got out we realized that Jack not being home and not being able to do anything here made it so the farm was not growing. In fact it was slightly falling apart. The girls and I can do a lot. Really though, my first job, besides mom that is, is as a teacher. We home school a lot. I mean I have three kids here, we do a lot of school. Animals come first, they are first thing done in the morning, last thing done at dark, but the girls and I are not fence builders. Maybe we should be, but we aren’t. Anyway, our lack was felt. I am not sure if it was my reaction or Jack’s realization of my reaction and reactions about a lot of things that made us realize we had fallen into an old pattern. Jack had some really hard jobs in the navy. I was a single mom for a really long time. I put on a bright face, nodded my head and took care of things best I could. I kept shouldering as much as I could without breaking. Oh, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fun. But the biggest part was that Jack was having a hard time and I didn’t want him to have to deal with anymore stress. Jack says I am a really good martyr. Yep, I am. And that isn’t something to be proud of. Anyway, we started to see that I was slipping into the role of, don’t worry just do the work you have to do, I will take care of this… And blah blah blah. Jack lived his work and was stressed, I became a single mom again and was stressed. This was a huge reason on us leaving the life we were living. We wanted this life to live together and it wasn’t happening. It didn’t help that things started falling apart at the hospital and the other job at the same time. Basically, it started sucking really bad. Jack was super stressed and I kept smiling. That is when Jack stopped, looked around and saw that we weren’t being healthy. And so Jack is no longer working the project manager job. He might help them out from time to time, we haven’t decided quite yet. Just in this little amount of time the difference in Jack is pretty amazing and I feel like I can breathe again. Of course this kind of puts us in a tighter place again, but our health and relationship is much more important. So, like I said, big thing that has happened.

The girls are doing great in school. I logged our hours this past month to see about how long we spend in school time and we logged over a hundred hours, one hundred ten to be exact. I am pretty lax about this. This is just counting formal school time, they read and learn at other times in the day but this is us sitting down and doing school. I told them that based on those numbers and what we are supposed to do for the state we could take almost three months off a year. They got upset. Seriously. They don’t want three months off. Oh they don’t mind if we miss school, for a day. If we don’t do school two days in a row, I hear about it, a lot. They will grudgingly give me off weekends but that is about it. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am glad my problem is in this direction. I would much rather them be bugging me to do school than for it to be the other way around. However, sometimes I would like a month off. Really. Oh well though. At least I get paid well. By the way, just in case you missed it, that was complete and total sarcasm.

In cabin news, been a long time since I talked about updates to our cabin, huh? Jack is working under the stairs. I have some shelves going and it is making a huge difference in here. Actually, a lot of things that I have not been asking for(you know in the interest of keeping my husband sane) have been getting done. We hung up the mirror and got our candle holders hung. We actually did this as part of our Imbolc celebration. It was great. The girls helped me plan the day and we really made the whole day a celebration. Our candles are now blessed for the year. We also decorated the goat collars and blessed them, for easy birthing and such. We made bread and butter. It was a great day. It was relaxing and well, I could breathe. The attitude and feeling around here has been a lot different lately. I’m glad. We are now farther and closer. Isn’t that how it goes though?

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