Wasps and being pushed

And really many other things

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday, things kind of got away from me. While today is also busy I am going to try and sit down and talk about what has happened this past week. As I look out the back door of the tent I can see 12, yes 12 rafters up. This is possible because we live with wonderful, helpful people. So wonderful. Also though, it is because of Jack. I have talked about this before, at least I think I have. Jack pushes me. A lot. Damn, when I think about it I am such a wuss. Really I am. I have been slowly overcoming my wussdom, mostly because I want my daughters to not be wusses. Going up on the second floor of the cabin makes my knees weak and my stomach fall to the floor. The first few times I went up there I could only crawl. Then I could stand up there if I was in the exact middle, really far away from edges. Even still it felt like the cabin was shaking under me. I kept trying though. Going up there for a little bit. Slowly, slowly overcoming myself. Over the weekend we had people come over and put up six rafters. I did not go up there. I will make fun of myself often, but I try not to show how messed up I truly am. I save that for the special people in my life. After they left Jack got ready three more trusses. Then he told me to come up and help him get them up. Now, to tell you, he had three people helping him before, for a total of four people lifting trusses. Now, he wanted just us two to put them up. I did it though. Oh I was totally freaked out. I did it though. I did draw the line when he wanted to put up the end truss. I couldn’t do it. Though fast forward to yesterday. Again, we had people come over to help put up more trusses. They got them up but then two of them left. It was time to put up the last end wall truss. Jack told me to get up there with them. Oh, I was not happy. Jack got very impatient with me saying I was pulling the truss inwards, I swear I wasn’t, but alright. However, while I was totally freaking out and wanting to vomit I look up and saw that something was not right. Looking up is much better than looking down by the way. The truss wasn’t cut correctly and stood about 2 feet too high. It sucked. Jack had to knock it down. So close. But oh well. In other slightly depressing cabin news we had a guy come out to give us an estimate on insulating the cabin. It is about four times the amount we could pay. We are looking at other options right now. It sucks though, a lot. In happy cabin news though maybe we will have a roof in the near future. Jack tells me that we should be able to start to move in by the beginning of September. That makes me 🙂

Animal news. Well, they are animals. We are starting to wonder if Astrid is just spontaneously lactating. She just does not look pregnant. I am not sure though. We are keeping an eye on her. Luna should really give birth one day. I would think. There are days where I obsess way too much about when my goats will give birth. Everyone else is doing pretty much the same. Our two pigs that were supposed to make bacon, have not made bacon yet. They will themselves become bacon in about a month. Well, bacon and many other tasty products. Oh, slightly exciting news, when we moved stock(that would be the goats, sheep and pigs) last Sunday it went very smooth. I am not sure if it was partly because it was much cooler or what. It took us half the time though. It was nice.

In other news… Well, you know sometimes you get an idea of just how far removed from normal daily life you are. We got a little of that this past week. I, of course, wouldn’t change it for the world. I really don’t think people will ever understand though unless they chose to. In many ways I am alright with this. In some ways I feel like telling everyone that they have no idea what they are missing. Then I remember that not everyone is me and they have the right to live their life without me telling them they could be living better. I have been trying to let a lot of things go lately. Some things are going alright, others not so much.

And Wasps. That is another thing. I have been trying to step outside myself a lot lately. Which kind of goes with the above paragraph. A few days ago I was spinning on the couch. It was nice but every so often this wasp would fly by, almost land on me and then crawl in between the cushions. It was really freaking me out that there was a wasp, maybe more building a next in my couch. What the hell. I didn’t want to deal with this. Of course though, I was really caught up in spinning and just didn’t do anything about it. The wasp kept coming. Sometimes it almost landed on me. I was saying in my mind that Jack will take care of the wasps when he got home. It kept happening though and I was really freaking out. Then I stopped. I looked around and was like, what right do I have to be mad about this? How about I try to figure out what kind of wasp this is, it obviously could have stung me 50 times over by now, but it hasn’t. I am sitting pretty much right above where it is most likely building a nest, yet it, nor any others are attacking me. We live in a wonderful world of internets. After a little researching it confirmed what I thought, it was a mud wasp. They are solitary wasps. What I was seeing was a mated female building a nest. She would carefully build each little hole, then she would collect spiders to put in the holes where she would then lay an egg. What I found maybe most interesting was the places where I read this kept saying that mud wasps are beneficials. They eat spiders that most humans consider a nuisance. You know, the spiders that eat the bugs that we consider a nuisance. Really people? Uggg. Anyway, while I like my spiders where they are thank you, I also see the need for balance. Instead of being freaked out, I found myself fascinated and touched in some way seeing this wasp working so hard. Of course if I could have stopped and talked to her I imagine she would have said, “Working hard? No, I am living. This is life and this is what I do.” Sometimes having outside perspective on what you do is not helpful at all.

In closing and in other interesting spider news. By the way, we like spiders. We have way too many flies, mosquitoes and moths to not like spiders. We have had a really cool spider right above our headboard. It has the most cool web and it insanely fast. Really neat to watch it. Well, as we always do eventually, we tried to identify it. It is nice to know what is above you when you are sleeping. Ready for the name of this spider? Rabid Wolf Spider. Seriously. It is not as bad as it sounds though. A great spider to have around in my opinion. You know, I have always liked spiders. I did use to have a rule that there were to be no spiders in my kitchen or my bedroom. That rule has so gone away. Rules change and have changed a whole lot lately.

One last closing thought that Natalie just reminded me of. This is our third summer not living in a house. I just did a little math(and because it is much more interesting) I choose Gwendy. She has lived “outside” for about a quarter of her life. Interesting, no?

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